Climate Crazies Vandalize the Constitution

On Wednesday, two protesters, apparently upset with U.S. climate policy, dumped pink powder on the case at the Rotunda for the Charters of Freedom that contains an original copy of the United States Constitution. The two men were allowed to give a brief statement regarding their action to the gallery prior to being arrested by Capitol Police.

The Constitution itself was unharmed, as it is hermetically sealed behind glass for viewing. The pink powder clung to the exhibit and the protesters, but did not penetrate to the document itself. The rotunda was closed early but expected to reopen today.

The two as-yet-unnamed protesters stood in front of the display after covering it and themselves with a reddish-pink powdery substance and haltingly delivered their deranged remarks.

“We are determined to foment a rebellion. We will not be held account to laws in which we have no voice or representation,” said one of the protesters.

“This country’s founded on the conditions that all men are created … and endowed with the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” the other added. “We’re calling for all people to have all these rights, not just wealthy white men. We all deserve clean air, water, food, and a livable climate.”

The protesters then demanded that President Joe Biden declare a climate emergency and that fossil-fuel subsidies be ended immediately, as if that would somehow stop the climate crisis we are supposedly experiencing.

The two men went on to prevaricate about the “millions of climate refugees” now in the United States and across the world. While there are indeed millions of illegal immigrants wandering around the United States currently, referring to these people as “climate refugees” is a lie.

The vandals also spoke of “moving towards real climate solutions.”

“We need to change how we do things. We need to change systems and value the lives and well-being of people over the profits of the many,” one of them said as the spectacle was finally wrapping up.

The National Archives vowed to prosecute them.

“The National Archives Rotunda is the sanctuary for our nation’s founding documents. They are here for all Americans to view and understand the principles of our nation. We take such vandalism very seriously and we will insist that the perpetrators be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law,” said Dr. Colleen Shogan of the National Archives.

The attack against America’s most cherished founding document is symptomatic of the worldwide trend in which famous works of art have been defaced in the name of climate-change protest. Most notably, in Paris, Leonardo da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa” has been vandalized by crazed climate activists throwing soup at the display. Edvard Munch’s “The Scream,” Van Gogh’s “Sunflowers,” and John Constable’s “The Hay Wain” have also been targeted by climate obsessed vandals.

One of the most astounding things about these attacks is the extreme passivity shown by those in charge of protecting these priceless cultural and historical pieces. Instead of these criminals being tackled, tased, and otherwise manhandled, they are allowed to spout their nonsense to the world, unafraid of the broken bones and lacerations one might expect them to receive. One would think that even if museum security guards are forbidden to engage in such tactics in defense of our cultural heritage, the spare art- or history-loving spectator might.

Somewhere along the line it became tolerable for a portion of the population to engage in vandalism as a form of political protest, but it’s not acceptable. The one thing that will make this type of behavior go away quickly is some swift and serious retribution in the form of long prison sentences.

Unfortunately, that’s unlikely to happen, as it occurred in Washington, D.C. A leftist judge will almost certainly conclude that there was no real harm done, and that the vandals’ issue (climate change) is important enough to endanger our founding documents.