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Atheist Shocked by Who He Saw in Heaven (NDE)

by SiteAdmin
March 5, 2024
in Gods Plans For America, US Health Services
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When I had my experience… I was a true  atheist… true atheist. I didn’t believe in any kind of religion. I didn’t believe  in anything. I thought this was all foo-foo.   I am an engineer. I was up on a bucket truck,  we were running some electrical lines.   

We were running late. We started to kind of try to hurry  up. We decided, I’m gonna stay up on the bucket.   We’re not gonna go up and down, and  you just be careful with the trees and navigate delicately.  The guy that was with me, my  partner, was more worried about electrocuting me…  

…up on top, so he was more worried about looking  up and he just kind of bumped into a tree.   I hit the bucket and I broke all my ribs… on my right side. I was sent to an emergency room, of course.   There was some issues with my  ribs they weren’t healing properly.  

I was sitting in an emergency room waiting, and I  know the nurse said, “Here, if you need anything push this button.”  And I sat on that bed and I was really  struggling to breathe at one point.

I thought about pushing the button, but because I grew up in the  South Bronx, and we’re supposed to be these tough men.   I said, “No, I could… I could manage this. I could get  through this. I always do.” I waited about 45 minutes  

And when I finally pushed the button… uh the  nurse came in and she just looked at me   and she just hit the cold blue.   That was the beginning of my experience of dying. And I had uh… a series of emotions, because I… I..  was suffocating, so it was kind of slow.

I’ll tell you what my first emotion was, when everybody  ran into the room my first emotion was shame.   To strip me down so quickly that I just felt shame.  After I had that sense of shame I started to feel…  you know, “What if this is real? What if  something’s really happening here?” and…  

“What’s going to go up… What’s going to happen  to my family?” Because I… never expected anything like this.    So you’re totally unprepared, and  I’m thinking, “How are they going to manage?” And that created a tremendous lump.  

I started thinking… about God. “You know what, if  you get me through this event… I will change.”   “I’ll change my way being I’ll be a better  person. You won’t regret it,” kind of thing.   I’m waiting… nothing happens, and then I felt  this sense of anger. Like, “I knew he wasn’t real.”  

And then… I got this tremendous sense of fear. And… because I thought, when I die there’s nowhere  for me to go, I didn’t believe in anything.   That I would just be shut off like a  light bulb, and just turn into nothingness.

So I became very fearful, and I wanted  so badly to ask somebody to hold my hand.   And then I started thinking, “Well, I can’t ask for  help because my father would be ashamed of me.”   Because I’m supposed to be tough.  I gotta tough this out. So I stiffened. And… I waited…

for death. I started to hear the IV, and it sounded like raindrops hitting on a tin roof.  So it was like, splash splash splash. I looked  at the wallpaper, and I’ll never forget this because…   my eyes were so acute that I could see the grain…  

In the wallpaper, and there’s this sense of wonder  happening within me at the same time as I know   I’m dying and I’m scared. Terrified might be a  better word. And then I noticed this shadow by the door, and it just stood there. And then  I started thinking, “You know what? I’ve had such  

A hard and difficult life… maybe it’s okay to  kind of let go. Maybe there’s no shame in this.   I’m not quitting. I’m not giving up. I’m just  realizing that there’s nothing I could do to…  

To stem this chain of events,” right? I can’t stop it. I kind of said, “It’s okay… it’s okay to die.” And the minute I said that, or thought that.   This shadow just moved. And it just  moved around everybody in that room.  

And… in my mind I could see its hand reaching  out to me, and it just touched my toe. and the minute it touched my toe, I just  felt this tremendous sense of relief.   and relaxation, and peace, and love, and calm.  And I wasn’t struggling to breathe anymore.

I was… in bliss, and I felt this breeze… This really warm breeze, just blowing. And… I visualized, because…   I got long hair. I’m thinking, “Wow my hair must be  blowing in the breeze. This is kind of like… amazing!”

And then I felt myself kind of being lifted.  Lifted until I found myself in the corner of the room.   And I was observing the effort by the CPR team,  the group that was there trying to save my life.  

And I looked at them, and I could see  there was a doctor right over me just   pumping, pumping, pumping. And I could see there  was a lot of stress in her face. And uh… I looked at myself… and I  said, “That’s me, and I’m dead.”  

“But if that’s me, then who am I?” This is the first thoughts that came to me, incredibly enough.   And then I just heard this  voice… right next to me say… “Think of your body as a car… and that car has  like five million miles on it and there’s…  

Nothing we could do to fix it anymore. So… you…  know, you have to now say goodbye to your body.” And I thought, “Wow… I just kind of said it was okay  to die now I’m standing here.” Because I feel like  

I’m standing there right? I don’t know what I look  like. I don’t know what form I’m in, but I know I’m…   I’m in some form of existence, and I look  at myself and… something very strange happened.

For the first time… in my life… I loved and  appreciated who I was… and who I’ve been.  And I was so grateful for that body, that vessel, for giving  me the opportunity to live the life that I lived. And I think that’s something we rarely do.

Take that one second to say, “I’m not flawed.”   “I’m the way I’m supposed to be”, because we look…  we’re always looking for what’s wrong with us.   We never really appreciate what we have that’s  good about us. And… I started to get these memories…  

Of what I call everyday benign things. So somebody  smiling, my little brother… me holding his hand.   A kiss. Simple things you know… a child looking at  you this amazing love in their eyes, your children.   Because those are things that happen every day.  Just taking in a breath of air, how insane and  

How amazing that is, right? So… I had this insane appreciation for who I had been, and who I was.   And then the voice said to me, “Okay now it’s  time for us to move on.” And we started walking.  

Now I never saw this presence, so I  don’t know what it was… it felt… feminine.   And then… I could see this huge hole in  the ground, like a big black hole.  And we’re kind of walking right into it, and we walk  right into it, and then I feel like I’m falling. 

And it was a bit of a painful experience because  I feel like something was being ripped off of me.   And it felt like I was falling forever, and  when I finally hit what I would call ground… it kind of ended for a second, and then… she  kind of said, “You gotta keep going.” 

And there was another one. And I went into that hole, and I fell,  and I kept falling, and I felt this thing just…   ripping things off of me. When I hit the bottom…  The first thing I saw was this massive color.

And the color was just moving and it  had so much life in it that I became… instantly amazed.  My expectation when I died was  that I would encounter nothing and become nothing.   Now I’m beginning to see things that…  

…were mind-boggling, in the sense that this color  was alive! It was living, and it was moving, and   it was talking to me. And it was talking to me like  millions of voices, so it sounded like chatter like…[static noise]  

But… somehow… there was some kind of comprehension.  Comprehension happening at a level, that even there   I couldn’t really understand. And then it  just opened up and I saw this amazing forest. Now I grew up in New York City so… that to me is quite striking, because I saw these mountains…  

And I could see this… the shadow that the clouds make  on the mountains, and they were so dark and contrasty.   And I could see these wild herds of animal just  running, and I found that I was kind of hovering.  

I saw this amazing vista, and I’m looking  up and I’m seeing that mountain, and I’m   realizing that I’m flying so I said, “Oh my gosh  I’m flying! and I heard this voice just say to me…  “That’s normal here.”

And then I… I thought about my  children, and this was the the only aspect of when   I was transitioning that was a bit painful to  me. So I said, “What’s going to happen to my kids?”   and that voice said to me, “Don’t  worry, you could see them from here”  

And when I heard that… that was like the most  amazing thing that I have ever heard!   and I said “Oh wow this is amazing!” So… it took all my fears  away, and then I just started flying. And I started…   moving over this landscape… and… and  looking down and… feeling of course… 

An amazing sense of peace, and calm, and  tranquility. That uh… comes with it, and this…   deep sense of love. There’s no way to really  describe it. You’ve heard that probably a hundred times, but…  …there really isn’t. But I continued on  my journey and I went over the mountaintops.  

And I could see snow on the top and I was like, “Wow so  amazed!” I was really awed more than anything. And then I looked out into the horizon and I could  see the sun, but I saw the sun as if I’m looking  

Through a telescope and I could see the flares  coming out of it, and I felt that this wind, that   I was feeling was… you know… given birth there. And  it was this warm air that was just coming to me.  

And that’s why I was able to fly. That’s  what was giving me this lift this warm air.   And I’m thinking all these things, and… I look down  and I see this amazing cove, and I see a beach.  

And I see a man in the water. He’s like… knee  deep in the water. And he’s got six children…   holding on to his right hand in a string,  right? In a line. And one child on his left hand.

And I said, “Wow that’s pretty amazing! Let me go  down and see what that’s all about.”   So I moved down, and maybe I’m about 10 feet? 15  feet away? And he turns around. That was my father.

It was amazing to see him, but what was  more amazing was that, me and my father   had a very, very hard… relationship.    We used to… bump heads tremendously. And he used to drink. And he was quite abusive. and uh…

Even though I was the seventh of eight  children, I became like my mother’s protector.   And so… we had a lot of clashes, and… I don’t ever  remember saying to my father in life that, “I love you”   or… he to me.

And his ways were very strict, so  we couldn’t hug, That wasn’t what men do. It was like very… he had this image of men being like…  Empty. Without a soul, without… feelings… without… Wow… what an opportunity to say to my father…  what I could never say to him in life.

And so… we had this exchange  that was very emotional to me.   but… I understood that he loved me. And I think he understood that I loved him. So… it kind of… reunited us in a strange  way. Not only did we meet there, but it…  …from a more spiritual perspective we… we became one.

Anyway… after all this amazing… time, he looks  at me he says, “Look you have to go back.”   I’m looking at him, and I said, “I don’t think  so, I really like it here.”

He’s like, “No, you got to go back it’s not your time.” And I’m  looking at him like… “No… I… I want to stay.” And uh…. Then I felt this tugging. Like  in my chest, but coming from my back.  

And I started being pulled, and I went back into  my body. I opened my eyes and the doctor that was doing CPR.  She kind of got surprised, and  she kind of lifted her head back a little.   And then I went right back to my  father, and I was in this space again.  

And he’s looking at me says, “No, you  really don’t get it. You have to go back.”   And he said, “Look, this is what we’re going to do.” So  we kind of started to structure a deal… in heaven.  

He said to me, “Look, when it’s your  time… I promise I will come and get you.” And I looked at him, and I’m thinking, “Wow… what  an amazing deal that is! I how could I say no?”   and so… I accepted that. And I went back.  

When you have your experience of dying you  get this interconnectivity. You feel like…   you’re connected to EVERYTHING, so that sense  of oneness is really profound. When you come back into your physical body again you feel  that sense of separation, so there’s…

…something about being in body that makes us feel  like we’re… independent of the rest of the world.   It’s really soothing, eye opening and it’s very  calming. It’s a calming feeling that it permeates   through you to know… that everything is as it  should be in a sense, right? Everything’s working  

Towards a goal, and that goal is well beyond  what we may ever know, but it’s still doing it.

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