and then the next thing is um well it’s it’s painful to understand how much of what you’re doing isn’t productive so I’ll give you an example so I’ve done this a couple of times with classrooms full of students usually when I’m lecturing about Career Development say Okay um how much time do you waste so then I I get the class to vote how many of you waste uh 10 hours a day it’s like 10% of the kids will put up their hands and it’s interesting cuz I don’t Define what constitutes waste I just ask the question so they’re diagnosing themselves right I’m not saying you’re wasting 10 hours a day I’m just asking it’s like given your own attitude how much time are you wasting 10 hours a day it’s like 10% of the people put up their hands well when you get to like 6 hours a day 80% of the people put up their hands so then we do the arithmetic It’s like because I like doing arithmetic with people people hate arithmetic but I like doing it it’s like okay 6 hours hours a day it’s 42 hours a week so let’s call that a work week 40 hours a week so so that’s that’s a work week let’s say what’s your time worth you’re a university student well it’s certainly worth minimum wage because obviously but it’s worth way more than that because if you spend a productive hour when you’re 20 then you gain the benefits of that hour for the rest of your life so there’s the compounding effect of time spent when you’re young so I say well let’s assume your time’s worth 50 bucks an hour which I think is an underestimate but whatever let’s call it 50 we call it 25 but we’ll call it 50 that’s $22,000 a week you’re wasting it’s $100,000 a year it’s like how much better would your life be if you weren’t wasting $100,000 a year it’s like what is that over 40 years $4 million it’s like you’re rich you don’t even know it quit wasting time by your own definition it’s like people shake their heads like I never thought about it that way it’s like yeah think about it that way don’t waste your damn life and then you think well why would people be resistant to that message it’s like well you really want to wake up and figure out that you’re wasting half your life and you know when people do that kind of wasting they actually hate it you know and I’ve had lots of people come to my clinical practice who were chronic procrastinators you know and so they’re watching YouTube videos say but but not ones that are good for them although sometimes they will do that but just browsing in that kind of mindless way that you do when you’re not paying attention and you’re trying to kill time and people doing that they feel bad they get depressed they feel anxious they can’t get away from it they feel kind of Quasi addicted what they’re saying about social media now it’s a huge issue with young kids absolutely but there’s this feeling of kind of internal rot and Corruption that goes along with it it’s like yeah well you’re wasting your life it’s like so it’s painful it’s painful to recognize that then it’s painful to think oh my god look how undisciplined I am I don’t know anything I can’t use a schedule I can’t I can’t stick to a calendar I don’t have any aims I don’t know anything about the world right and maybe there’s a part of me that’s bitter because I haven’t got everything already and I’d like just like to say to hell with it that’s the recognition of the Union Shadow it’s like that’s What Makes You vicious and and and and untrustworthy all of that no one wants to look at that and no bloody Wonder but hey the alternative is worse so the problem is you say like just saying stop wasting your life like I think that that that’s not enough I think this is one of the reasons why a book like this is so important like the idea of discipline in most people’s eyes it’s like if you’re not a disciplined person it’s uncomfortable it’s it’s going to be painful it’s it’s a frustrating you you have to force yourself into these things it’s a muscle it’s a and it’s a muscle that has to be developed these patterns have to be developed in in your own mind incrementally yes yeah well with the so you’re right just telling people not to waste their lives is not enough and this is another reason why I’ve so much enjoyed being a clinical psychologist because clinical psychologists don’t stick with high level abstractions especially the behaviors they’re really practical it’s like okay you want to get your act together it’s like well how about if let’s say you’re not studying well and so we do a real analysis of how much you’re studying you say well I go to the library 4 hours a day it’s like yeah yeah okay how much time do you actually study in the library well you know I waste time I have to travel there I look at my phone it’s like okay well how much 15 minutes half an hour how much is real studying well maybe we figure out it’s 15 minutes say okay so what you’re going to do for one week is you’re going to study for half an hour that’s all you don’t get to go to the library for 4 hours you have to sit down we’ll figure out a time 10:00 in the morning whatever we’ll put it in your schedule try to study for half an hour no more and then just come back and let’s have a conversation about how well that worked and people come back and they say well you know I managed it 4 days and one day I went over and one day I couldn’t do it at all it’s like okay that’s better instead of 75 minutes of studying you know 15 minutes a day for 7 days what is that 15 70 105 minutes you’ve managed about 210 minutes so you’ve already produced an improvement of 50% and you’re bumbling horrible way you got a 50% Improvement in one week it’s like that’s deadly it’s like so in in the future authoring program what we ask people to do is well think about your life along Six Dimensions what do you want for your so the the goal is this you’re going to take care of yourself you’re going to have a life in three years that justifies its suffering that’s the goal so you can invent the damn life but you have to think what you would be satisfied with so you wouldn’t be all bitter and resentful it’s like okay what do you want from your family what do you want from your friends how are you going to educate yourself what do you want for your career how are you going to use your time outside of work how are you going to handle drugs and alcohol and other Temptations like that how are you going to keep yourself mentally and physically healthy these are open questions like you get to answer them the idea is you can have whatever you want but you have to figure out what it is it has to be realistic and you have to figure out what it is it’s okay so now develop a vision what’s your life going to be like in 3 to 5 years so you write it down then we do something else which is okay um your bad habits and your resentment and your bitterness and all of that your procrastination gets completely out of hand and you augur down and you’re in your own personal version of Hell in three to five years what does that look like well everyone knows that it’s like everyone can look into the future and think well if I keep going on this dark path this is where I’ll end up well then you’ve got little hell outlined for yourself to run away from and you got a little Heaven outline for yourself to run towards and then you’re motivated because sometimes you know you’re just hopeful I would like a good thing to happen it’s like yeah but you know I’d like to drink half a bottle of whiskey tonight too it’s like so which is it going to be well just being hopeful about the future might not be enough but then you think oh I see like there’s that little hell thing that I line that’s waiting for me and maybe I’m afraid of taking the next next step forward cuz it’s demanding and challenging it’s like yeah I’m afraid of that but I’m way more afraid of where I might end up if I don’t get my act together and people should
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